You pinterest together making magic of mason jars and some burlap, You leave our blessed husbands home to brave whatever a diaper may hold so you can enjoy a glass of wine in peace and quiet (which is not at all what happens when a group of women get together), You bare your feet together in solidarity to beautify our most vulnerable parts, You swap the nitty-gritty of your birth narratives, you pass the hours with your stroller derby friends over some latte therapy, you care for and nurture each other by swapping dressing room pictures in hopes of an affirmation made from multiple exclamation points all caps #hotmama, and yet you feel so...
mediocre and desiring more in relationships
part of a community but still stuck on the fringes
wondering if you are good enough
hopeful that someone will see your giftings
fearful that they will also see your flaws
desperate for not a bestie but something more
Not all of use are meant for a publishing deal. Not all of use are meant for the office. Not all of use are meant to stay home. Not all of use want to speak from a stage. Not all of use will lose all margin from our travel schedule. But we are made for a platform, all of us.
In our digital day, we are ever more open online and somehow still so shallow in our relationships with other women. In fact, many of us are NOT living Biblically. I'm exhausted from seeing Proverbs 31 women not realizing that they could be so much more to other women because they are so busy being all P31. We are made for a fruitful platform
Matthew 7 says... "You will 14know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 "So 15every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 "A good tree cannot * produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 "16Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 "So then, you will know them 17by their fruits.
The Greek word for "Fruit" is Karpos. Yes it means crops and follows all the things you already know about the meaning of this passage. I won't belabor that interpretation, BUT is also means "progeny." Somehow the mainstream church has "Sister Wifed" this verse to mean "go on, kids, pop 'em out!" We are talking about a lineage that is created through our relationships. As a woman when I read this, I can't help but get angry at myself for not having relationships that are not based on a fun filled girl time, but balanced with the fact that...
As women, we have a Biblical directive for discipling others and to NOT do this is NOT living by the word.
Titus 2 says, "Olderwomen likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, 6not malicious gossips nor 7enslavedto much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women tolove their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, 8workers at home, kind, being 9subject to their own husbands, 10so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
The Greek word for "Young Women" is Neos which means "recently born, young, youthful
- new." It's not about being a 50 year old Christian, wise woman and finding the cutes newly wed you can to meet for coffee with every time she and her husband have a tiff over who should change the oil. It's about actively seeking out a depth of relationships where we identify common ground, common personality traits (or quirks as I call them), familiar trajectory, and assisting them in things like...
For the "Season Ahead"
What are their passions and what do they dream to do with it?
This may be a bit nostalgic for you, enjoy that.
Is there a season you have been through that you see someone else going through where you can offer a perspective of experience?
Can you think out side your spiritual paradigm of discipleship and simply give advice as many mentoring relationships in the real word do?
How to handle team dynamics, dealing with insecurities when put in a position of leadership, how to temper a strong personality for the greater good, tips on becoming an effective communicator, sharing resources on how to inspire others to move along with your vision no matter the size of that vision.
Are you willing to create margin for a few of these relationships?
So often, the creme of the discipleship crop forget to treat discipleship as Christ did. Train a few well and then encourage them to recreate what you have with them in their own relationships. Is this not what creating a spiritual progeny looks like?
For the "Season Behind"
Jesus is the ultimate mentor.
Regularly accessing the word and finding time with him will eliminate the need for a prescriptive mentorship relationship, which is a sure fire way to run off a great mentor.
Do you know yourself, your gifts, your flaws?
This "Know Thyself" idea is not understanding your identity, staying humble with your career, blessings, and giftings enough to sharpen them for a purpose beyond your own fleshy ambitions.
Are you open and ready to be teachable?
If you want to have help in the pruning, be ready for it and gracious towards it. God loves us enough to see us through the hard things, so don't expect to be showered with affirmations all the time.
Will you be brave and initiate regularly in a long term relationship?
I HATE this part, but those gals a season ahead usually have a baby on their hip or sometimes even that travel schedule and crazy busy life. Be gracious and flexible and keep at them.
Be what you want.
I've had these relationships in and out of seasons. They have been perfect and not. When you are waiting and disheartened that a hope for a relationships was again shattered by the reality that they just can't make time/have time for you. Dust it off and look around, be this for someone else in the meantime.
Ladies, I'm sorry but the Kim's, Miley's, and sheer pace of this culture are taking over. All the while, we have a clear scriptural directive for our relationships as women to women. Until I create a software like E-harmony that pairs women for long term mentorship and discipleship relationships, then we have to take this directive and run with it. I think we will all be amazed at the platforms that are unearthed and a new kind of community among women that is authentic and fruitful. Out of curiosity, I created a google form that will anonymously collect data on what these relationships have been for you. Share it around and know that it is completely anonymous. I'm hoping to see a true picture of what discipleship and mentorship has meant for all of you.
Lacy B!
Sunday, September 29, 2013